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I owe you a big THANK YOU. . . you were instrumental in helping me get engaged to a wonderful man by keeping me focused on the right things. I would definitely recommend your professional help to others.
-- Angie[Click here to read more]
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  Welcome to my mind! This is where I share my thoughts, reactions and experiences as your relationship coach.
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I posted a new "testimonial" of the coaching work that I had been providing to a woman in Los Angeles. You can read it by either clicking on the "Testimonials" link on the upper left side of this page, or by clicking here.Suffice it to say, it's gratifying to be so helpful.
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I made a presentation in front of a group of 60 singles the other day, which I entitled "Attracting Mr./Ms. Right" and, of course, was asked a bunch of questions afterwards. One of the participants asked about judging someone based on physical appearance. Since I address this topic in my articles, teleclasses and other live lectures, I initially answered "that is a whole 'nother topic that I can address at another time." But I decided that this was a good opportunity to go on record about a related topic that comes up frequently in my discussions with singles -- that of personal hygiene. Men -- have you ever gone out with a woman who didn't comb her hair, wore tattered clothes or whose clothes smelled of stale perfume? And women -- have you ever gone out with a man who clearly had not showered, and his breath was terrible too? Yet even if he did shower, his clothes were sprinkled with dandruff? When I hear singles complain about how some of their dates don't practice "good personal hygiene," I am truly appalled and upset. How can anyone think that they're going to create a new relationship if they aren't properly taking care of themselves, i.e., their personal hygiene? So, I decided to take the opportunity to say "Yes, you can and you should judge somebody on their appearance, specifically their personal hygiene. You can reject somebody if they have poor hygiene." There, I said it.
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There is a secret part of me that has always wanted to be a caterer. I'm a "gourmet cook wannabe," repeatedly fascinated by the process of following a recipe and watching how it turns out. Plus, I love to watch people eat and enjoy what I cook. I fantasize -- how much greater would it be to cook and serve on a grand scale? But, it's not to be. I've often wondered why other things in life couldn't be like cooking -- just follow a recipe and the results you desire will appear! Unfortunately, most of life is not like cooking -- there are no recipes, no formulas, no guarantees. But oh, how I wish there were! That's why, as a coach, I've worked hard to encapsulate aspects of dating and relationships into practical tools to help relationship-oriented singles create the relationships they want. In my article, "Your Dating Road Map," I've tried to present a set of "formulas" or "recipes" designed to help singles find and attract a life partner. You'll see that creating your dating road map will require a great deal of
self-awareness; implementing it will require a lot of objectivity. In truth -- you'll get the best results with your dating road map with a guide, i.e., a coach! Of course, in order to get to your ultimate destination, you have to begin at "start." So read over the "recipes" I've presented, and prepare to get into action toward attaining the relationship and life you've always wanted.
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Dear Janice, I just read your article about "relationship gifts," and I noticed that you had written a section about a question that I had asked you on the night of the speech. You stated: "It began when a woman came up to me after my "Chemistry, Love & Chocolate" workshop. She said that she had gone on a few dates with a man who now wanted to break up. He had told her this over the phone, but he happened to be at the workshop and he suggested that they go out for coffee to talk. She told me that she liked the man and was sad that he didn't want to continue, so what should she do now? she asked me. "I remember feeling inspired and said, "Just go and focus on listening to what he says. Try not to be defensive. Every relationship is a gift, and he will give you valuable information that you can use to eventually attain the relationship you really want." I wanted to let you know that I did take your advice and went to coffee, and I must say that you were completely right. I learned a lot about myself and I can definitely use it for next time. However, he did turn out to be a more disappointing person than I thought he was. Thank you, D A discussion of "Relationship Postmortems" can be found by clicking here to get to the He Says/She Says Forum on the Message Board. Also, be sure to vote in the poll at the right on the front page! =====>>
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I had a wonderful trip to Los Angeles, California, visiting my family and friends, and giving two workshops to singles. My brother and I took my kids to Disneyland, Legoland, and even a couple of museums, all of which were lots of fun. The weather was fantastic -- in the 70's and sunshine every day. One thing that I took special notice of while in L.A. is all that I've received from the many people in my life. So I thought that I would share what I learned about relationships on this
trip that can be especially helpful for singles searching for a life partner. It began when a woman came up to me after my "Chemistry, Love & Chocolate" workshop. She said that she had gone on a few dates with a man who now wanted to break up. He had told her this over the phone, but he happened to be at the workshop and he suggested that they go out for coffee to talk. She told me that she liked the man and was sad that he didn't want to continue, so what should she do now? she asked me.
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Posted by: Janice
on Tuesday, February 15, 2005
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 Since I have become obsessed with chocolate and its relationship to love and romance, I remembered that I once threw a chocolate fondue party many years ago. I tried to find the recipe for chocolate fondue originally given to me by my cousin (it was one without alcohol), and eventually found it in the 1984 edition of "Maida Heatter's Book of Great Chocolate Desserts." To serve chocolate fondue properly, you'll need a fondue pot or some other way of keeping the chocolate warm. The fondue is served with an assortment of "dunkable" foods, most commonly: fresh strawberries, orange sections, banana chunks, as well as ladyfingers, graham crackers, or chunks of angel food or pound cake. Dried fruit can be dipped into the warm chocolate too. Long-handled fondue forks or wooden skewers help prevent sticky fingers, but that can be part of the fun too! If you want a copy of Maida Heatter's Toberone Fondue or Hershey Fondue (the latter without alcohol), then send an email to me at Info@FocusedCoachingServices.com with
"fondue recipes" on the subject line. And if you decide to make a fondue party, be sure to invite me!
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Over the past couple of months, I had the opportunity to meet 3 of my coaching clients in person. One had heard me give a lecture months earlier, so I wouldn't have remembered meeting her. The other two met me via my website, having been referred there from another site. All three hired me to be their dating and relationship coach knowing that our contact would be exclusively by phone and by email. In essence, we only had "virtual" contact, and for some it was for many months, prior to meeting in person.
I'm convinced that where I live, New York City, is the center of the world. Why? Because it's inevitable that people will have a reason to want to come here. When my client from New Jersey, came here to spend a holiday with a friend, we met at a synagogue. My client from Los Angeles, came to see someone with whom she was having a trans-continental relationship. We arranged a meeting at the Starbucks up the street. Then just last Saturday night, my client from Europe came to meet me at the Starbucks down the street, as he had come to New York on business. With each meeting, I experienced turning a "virtual" relationship into an "actual" one. So I think that with these experiences, I am now qualified, in some minor way, to say that I know what online dating feels like!
The big difference though, in that I'm not "dating" any of my clients. We have a business relationship where I provide a (valuable) service to help them attain the relationship they want.
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Posted by: Janice
on Sunday, January 16, 2005
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