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Your coaching helped me to see that I had a healthy partnership with the man I was dating, enhanced by our good communication. And so we got engaged!
-- S.L.[Click here to read more]
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This has been an interesting holiday season so far. For example, people have been telling me how
they’re able to determine the seriousness of their relationships based on the gifts that they’ve received.
I recently heard about a woman who was very upset with the gift that she received from a man that she
was dating seriously. He had asked her what she wanted, and so she told him “jewelry.” While she
may have dreamed of receiving an engagement ring, she knew that her boyfriend had been wary
about recently becoming an exclusive couple, so she didn’t hold out much hope. She heard from
her roommate that he had asked her for some ideas, and she had suggested a specific style of
pearl earrings that she knew her friend liked.
When the time came to open her gift, she was shocked and surprised to find the tiniest pair of
pearl stud earrings she had ever seen. “Starter earrings” she called them, the kind that a young
girl gets when she first has her ears pierced.
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The smallness of the earrings represented what she
believed to be the extent to which her boyfriend was able to commit to their relationship–not very
much. This was not the type of gift that you give a woman that you are in a serious, exclusive,
marriage-bound relationship.
I’m not saying that her perspective is right or wrong, but it was a meaningful and insightful
moment for her. There will be lots of cues and clues that your dating partner will communicate,
both verbally and non-verbally, during the course of your relationship. I encourage you to keep
your eyes and ears open to pick up on them, and use them to determine the future of your
relationship, for this holiday, and all the rest.
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Posted by: Janice on Saturday, December 27, 2003 - 08:00 PM
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