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I was talking with my butcher the other day. (Yes, I have a butcher! He delivers meat and poultry to me on a monthly basis, which is extremely convenient and a big time-saver.) I was questioning an item on my last bill, and I mentioned that my husband and I were concerned about how the money we make is spent. This caused my butcher to reveal to me that in his marriage, his wife makes more money than he does and that she buys, with her salary, the groceries (except the meat and poultry, of course), her own clothes and the gifts for their children, grandchildren, etc. So if he questioned something that she bought, like blueberries out of season, she'll tell him, "Why should you care? It's not your money." Now I'm not judging this arrangement as bad or good. I'm describing it as an example of a "deal" that one couple made before getting married, as I described in my article Love Is A Big Deal, Part 1 and Part 2. My butcher and his wife made this deal about a particular aspect of their finances. She wanted to have the freedom and discretion of buying what she wanted, whether it be clothing or exotic foods, without his input. Knowing my butcher's personality, she most likely knew what she was doing! But nonetheless, he agreed to making this deal, and he seemed to advocate it to me after I told him my husband's concerns (which were also mine) about his bill. So whether or not this is the kind of deal you'll want to make with your future spouse, it's an example of how two people can and should communicate their needs, and negotiate for a deal that suits them best.
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