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I think the work we did together, the encouragement, the advice and accountability you gave me has been incredible, wise & very valuable. I am going to continue using everything I learned in my future dating endeavors which will hopefully end soon when I get engaged :-) and married....
-- Jessie[Click here to read more]
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This is a Q&A that has received a lot of traffic since I first posted it. You can check out my original answer by clicking here. Here is a comment/question that was recently posted, which is also on the Message Board where you can express your opinion.
Q. So there's this guy that I like. But I don't know if he likes me back. We've been out twice but it's been like a group date and I'm not the one who's asked him, it's been my guy friend cause I'm kinda shy. He asks me a lot of questions when we are alone but we were with the group he kind of strays off. What do you think? My friend says that the guy's interested but I'm not for sure please please I need some advice.
It would be important to know your age, because that would help in answering your question. For many teenagers and young people in their 20's, group dates are quite common and a normal part of socializing. Dating in this way, however, is not usually a direct route to creating a life partner relationship. Your biggest "handicap" in this situation is that you're "kinda shy." If this means that you avoid being direct and rely on other people to communicate with the guy instead, then he may only be responding in kind. I.e., he won't be direct with you either.
I would suggest a couple of things --
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The next time you're out on a group date and the two of you stray off alone, see if you could steer the conversation to going places that's just for 2 people. Then see how he responds. If he says, "what about the others?" that would mean he likes having you as part of the group, but not alone. My other suggestion is to have a trusted third party (like your friend who knows both of you) ask him directly if he'd be interested in going on a date with you alone. That person could confirm that you'd be receptive to his phone call and invitation. Or give you the bad news if the guy says no. I think that both of these suggestions take into consideration your "shyness," although I personally believe that taking care of one's own business is better. Good luck!
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Posted by: Janice on Friday, October 21, 2005 - 04:35 PM
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Comments
Oct 28, 2005 - 01:42 AM
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Is he interested?
Finding your Mr. Right isn't all that easy. If you think you'd want to pursue dating (at least) with this guy, I say take your chances. There really isn't a right or wrong way to date or to get to know your potential life partner. If this guy's talking to you only when you're alone, that means he's interested, but I don't think he's into you that much. Why don't you go ask him directly? Make it clear (for yourself) if you want this to lead to couplehood.
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Janice
Oct 28, 2005 - 04:31 PM
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Re. Is he interested?
You seem to know a lot of resouces on the internet! Please log in the next time you visit, so I (and my other website members) can know who you are. You mention finding "Mr. Right" and "couplehood," which singles have to be clear about wanting before venturing out in the dating waters. This is different than "recreational dating," which I suspect may be what the asker of this question has been doing. Dating recreationally, like going out on dates with groups, can be fun, but as I mentioned, it's not the most direct route to finding a life partner, i.e., Mr. Right. I'm glad that you agree with me that it's best to ask the guy directly. Come back again!
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Dec 08, 2005 - 09:27 PM
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Re.
I am 16 years old and I work at a hardware store in peoria. i like a guy named Aaron there. The ony problem is he ives me weird signs on if he like me back. Here are some of the things he does: he takes breaks when Iam in the break room, he always seems to take a break when I am cleaning the break room. when I go to get the sodas in the back he sometimes comes with me as if I can not do it on my own. Well I have asked him to go bowling and I have asked him to go to the movies but he always is so busy and can never go. I have been to his house one time to get help on Algebra homework. We exchanged numbers but I have called him like 3 times and he never returns my calls if I say something about it to him then he says maybe he didn't want to call or some smart remark. I am so lost and want to give up on him but what should I do? I know if I start dating a guy then he is going to decide to come around the nI end up hurting the guy. Please help!!!!!
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Janice
Dec 18, 2005 - 10:58 AM
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Re.
If you start dating someone else, then maybe he'll up his game from acting like a puppy and following you around and start acting like a man and asking you out properly. You have nothing to lose by dating others. And you'll gain confidence and self-respect for how you should be treated. Janice
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Dec 27, 2005 - 12:37 AM
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Re.
There is this guy at work. I've gotten to know him pretty well. We talk for hours after work. His bro actually shares an office with us and when his bro leaves, this guy will always talk to me like clockwork. He's stayed liked and helped me with homework when I had night classes. He usually leaves fairly early to go home, and one time, he stayed with me just talking for an hour until some people came and asked us why we were staying so late. He stayed quiet and I answered "cause we love work." I asked him why he was staying so late, and he stayed quiet as well. He's a real shy guy. He barely talks to anyone but I know that we both talk together. Are we just friends? Or more? Thank you for listening.
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CocoCutie16
Jan 08, 2006 - 01:24 AM
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Re.
I'm the workout type girl, so i'm at the gym everyday. Theres a really cute worker i see there everytime. We have never talked though. But our eyes always meet, and theres an intense feeling that builds up in me that makes me suddenly look away and i dont know why, and i was wondering if maybe he is interested in me but wont acknowledge me. I dont know is there something that maybe i should do?
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